Game end

Its my off day today which means, its my lazy day. I'm basically lazying around at home. Spent the whole day reading my Harry Potter series. Its was soothing. Nice day today. Wasn't too warm or too cold. A real perfect day to lazy around at home. Was supposed to get dinner with the usual clique but wasn't feeling so well so I decided to stay home and rest since I have to work tomorrow. I tried the cranberry scented candles today and it was awesome! Super nice smell! It neither had a strong smell nor unscented. Its in the middle so its just perfect! Finally had the time to eat my vanilla ice cream from Ben's and Jerry's! They are my fav!!

 Anyways, sis called me to inform me that I won't be able to work at the same outlet as her anymore because it was in the contract that any siblings or family related people are not allowed to work at the same outlet. WTF? Are you kidding me? I've worked for 4 freaking months and yet they never said anything? what nonsense is this? They should at least write on my contract or something! at least I would have been warned! Well, if they had wanted me to transfer to Square2 it would be fine but now that Mama-san is going to resign.... well, actually she had already tendered, I don't want to. The people working there is just to weird. They are totally not decent enough! Plus, the layout there is unbearable!! So difficult to make drinks there because its all over the place and you have move around alot just to make one freaking drink! Imagine me there, I would have to cover for people all the time, for sure! I thought of quitting the job and finding another one but its rather difficult to find a job that is flexible. I dont mind working all day on Mon to Fri but I definitely don't wanna work on Sundays because its like lazy day for me!

WHY DO LIFE HATE ME SO  MUCH?!

Lost Child

I got scared. I panicked. I cried. I laughed. All at the same time. Am I going mad? I, myself, do not know. As they said, God only give us problems that we can overcome and only those who went through alot are the strong ones. I highly doubt so. I really do. I don't know if I can take it anymore. My family always said that my middle sis had it worst than me. Having to pay the house bills and all but little did they realise that they were blind. I am the one who is hurting so badly. I am the one who is breaking into pieces, bits by bits. I don't know about others but all I know I'm trying my best to stay strong and persevere.

There only so little that a 17 year old could take. I know I'm not among the strong ones. Today, mum and my oldest sis fought again. This time it got worst. And with all the emotions accumulated, I got scared. No, I got terrified. Mum started to hit her head with things and sis started to wail. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I was too...weak. Too weak to do anything. All I could do was to distract my niece. That was all I could do. I'm really pathetic huh?

I always wanted to be those girls on TV where they have such perfect life. Having a Dad that dots on them, Mum that love them so much and siblings that are always there for them. Some of my friends are like that. They don't realise that they were living the perfect life that I could never have. They don't see that there are more things to life. They don't know how fortunate they are to have such a family that I could only dream of. Now, without school, I feel so lost. I don't know where to go or what I am doing. I am just letting life bring me wherever it wants me to. Its so depressing. I am a lost child.

Dancing Queen

So I've been thinking alot these few days to start dancing again. ANd I did. I think its ahuge step for me to start again after 4 years of not practicing. Its really something for me to catch up. I wasn't really sure about bthis decision because I was afraid that I might not able to improve or even be like last time. I'm hoping to get this right. SInce this has been my passion since I was really young. I thought I should give it a shot aghain. Maybe I could even make dancing as a carrer. But of course, I would have a backup plan if I (touch wood) to fail in this path.

I ended up making a dance crew with Mirah and Dell. It was more of an improvised thing. We randomly met up to dance and you know what? We actually clicked well! It was kinda shocking cause we weren't really close during our schoool years, mainly because we were either of different calss orwe just have our own clique that time. But now, things really changed. I felt really connected to them like I have never been before with the clique. Its really different. With the clique, I felt distant because all of them were....well, different. As i, in our way of thinking and also our way of potraying tings but with the crew, I actually feel like I am meant to be a part of it. We share our problems and I didn't even got judged! They didnt even commented on my actions, they just listened to what I have to say and gave encouragement. They do give advide but not in a way saying that I did things wrong because they understandwhat I am going through I know that my actions were just mindless and not meant. We texted each other day and night. Know what, I actually bothered to reply back. THEY actually bothered to reply back. I feel blessed to have met them. Thank you God for making me meet them. I really appreaciate what had happened between us three. I hope they do too.