Saturday, February 16, 2013

Lost Child

I got scared. I panicked. I cried. I laughed. All at the same time. Am I going mad? I, myself, do not know. As they said, God only give us problems that we can overcome and only those who went through alot are the strong ones. I highly doubt so. I really do. I don't know if I can take it anymore. My family always said that my middle sis had it worst than me. Having to pay the house bills and all but little did they realise that they were blind. I am the one who is hurting so badly. I am the one who is breaking into pieces, bits by bits. I don't know about others but all I know I'm trying my best to stay strong and persevere.

There only so little that a 17 year old could take. I know I'm not among the strong ones. Today, mum and my oldest sis fought again. This time it got worst. And with all the emotions accumulated, I got scared. No, I got terrified. Mum started to hit her head with things and sis started to wail. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I was too...weak. Too weak to do anything. All I could do was to distract my niece. That was all I could do. I'm really pathetic huh?

I always wanted to be those girls on TV where they have such perfect life. Having a Dad that dots on them, Mum that love them so much and siblings that are always there for them. Some of my friends are like that. They don't realise that they were living the perfect life that I could never have. They don't see that there are more things to life. They don't know how fortunate they are to have such a family that I could only dream of. Now, without school, I feel so lost. I don't know where to go or what I am doing. I am just letting life bring me wherever it wants me to. Its so depressing. I am a lost child.

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